Dear Mother Nature,
You can stop snowing ANY time now!!
As a resident of the Midwest, I am well aware of your wide range of weather abilities. I often wonder if you use us as test subjects, as we seem to get the craziest combinations of temperatures, precipitation, and wind.
This winter started earlier than usual and you have dumped enough snow upon us to freeze hell its self. I feel its only fair that spring should get here ASAP! I sit here stuck in my home with two crazy toddlers with major cabin fever. And I cannot be responsible for what may happen if I have to stay stuck inside for one more week.
If you insist on dumping more snow here at least get in touch with lady luck on my behalf and work out a deal for me to win the lottery. At least then I can buy a one way ticket to somewhere warm. I promise to return in the spring.